God has been sending me a message now for years, but I haven't allowed it to take root in my life: Seek God. Trust God. Trial after trial He has stressed the importance of a relationship with Him. Each time He ups the ante.
It's like labor pains in progression. Most of the trials I've endured in my adult life have built upon each other, but I have always been able to wiggle through, relying on myself or other people mostly and undermining God's hand in the matter.
With each trial He has spoken to me louder and more clearly, but I've been reluctant to budge. Just like there became a point in labor when I couldn't remain still, He has brought me to such a place in my life.
To remain stationary and unmoved is to perish, and the stakes are too high this time for me to fold.
I do not know you or your location, but I stumbled upon your blog as I was getting ready to write something for our hospital's NICU blog...and I couldn't stop reading. As a NICU RN, I have heard and walked with families so much like yours. I can tell you to "get some rest" and "wait and see", but I know your nurses are already telling you that. All of what you are going thru is "easier said than done". But, please don't shut-down because you are in uncharted waters...you may discover a whole new world! I have several quotes written in the front of my Bible and I thought of this one when I read your post: "God can't steer an anchored ship." I am guilty of this all the time too...digging in my heels when He is trying so hard to get me to follow. Rest in Him and trust the He knows everything that your family needs. And, keep writing...we encourage our NICU families to journal all the time.
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