POOP... already

This afternoon after much hesitation. I went to the hospital alone to see Ian for my very first time. I think I hesitated because I'm not used to doing things alone anymore. Doug is so involved and supportive that he is pretty much ALWAYS there. I have happily put my independence on a shelf where it is now collecting dusty cobwebs.  Today I felt like I needed to break away and focus on being Ian's mom for a while.

Ian and I spent three hours together. I opted not to hold him today, afraid it would be too much for me to handle. When I arrived shortly after 4 p.m., he was in his crib attached to the ventilator, with his oxygen at 35% (the goal is around 21%). He had just been given some breast milk (through his tube) and was mostly relaxing. The nurse took some blood from his heel shortly thereafter to test his blood gas levels, which were not good. (Blood gas levels are one of the indicators that determine whether or not his oxygen and/or other ventilator settings may be weaned down some more).

Because of his blood gases and the fact that he has not pooped yet (since being back on breast milk for the past few days) a chest x-ray was ordered and quickly done, as I observed from a few steps away. The x-ray was clear, so the respiratory therapist came in to adjust his ETT (endotracheal tube) because it had begun to slip out. I certainly hope he poops soon. It doesn't seem like the doctors and nurses are taking into account the fact that breastfed babies don't poop as often. He also just switched from a lipid/sugar solution to breast milk. His digestive system needs to switch over.

Perhaps he'll be like Fluff during her first week home--I had to supplement my milk with formula for like a day before my milk was fully in. It took her body a few days to adjust to my milk. Then late one night when ALL of my help had gone to sleep, Fluff completely BLEW out her diaper while we were hanging out on the sofa. I mean crap was everywhere. My tiny newborn daughter had blown grainy yellow poop out of her diaper, onto my lap, and past/through my lap onto the sofa. It was her first poop-ocalypse of many. So yes, maybe Ian will send the message loud and clear.

He has to be eating, pooping and peeing regularly before he can come on (in addition to breathing on his own, of course). They still haven't given him an actual medicine for the purposes of "fixing" his respiratory system. I wonder at what point they'll do that... or if they'll need to with Ian. I'm team #no-meds if God wills that his body will get the message on its own. However, I am also team #bringhimhome. Maybe a balance could be found.